Hello Annapolis

I guess this story starts out at the beginning of my vacation to the east coast. While waiting to board my flight in Chicago I heard those words so dreaded by air travelers everywhere: 'blah blah blah overbooked blah blah relinquish seat blah blah.' Being that I was on vacation and didn't really give a shit I moseyed my way over to the counter to selflessly offer my ticket to a needy orphan flier. Upon giving the flight attendant woman a sly wink and full-on Papa Bear charm, she kindly upgraded my flight to first class. Holla. Yes, this has relevance to my story.

Slightly after takeoff a different lovely flight attendant offered me a delicious beverage of my choice. I chose bourbon. My love of all things whiskey knows no bounds so I drank that up with gluttonous speed. I proceeded to drink five more glasses of whiskey on my 80 minute flight.

I landed at BWI around 8pm local time with all six glasses of whiskey in my happy belly and let Sinko know that we didn't need to stop at his place for anything, just continue on to the bars. After a few rounds of shots and a couple big boy beers (40 oz domestic taps) some of his lady friends showed up. I don't actually remember meeting any of these women but they informed me days later that they were there and I talked to all of them.

Upon leaving the bar I noticed a candy store and realized that I needed fudge; I didn't want it, I needed it. The fudge shop was obviously closed but Papa Bear is not easily deterred. I found an alley and spider scaled my way up to the third floor where I was able to get a toe-hold on the ledge. I then opened a window (which may or may not have been locked) and climbed inside. So now I'm wandering around in this crazy building where the second and third floors are (luckily for me) being renovated. I hear Sinko ask where I am so I throw the window open and tell him not to worry, I'm right here.
The girl he's with freaked out at this point so I climbed out the second floor window and jumped off the kickout onto the street level. Now, I do feel the need to confess that I was so drunk I didn't even realize that what I was doing is not okay in society. It's not that I knew I was doing something wrong and didn't care about the consequences, I just didn't even consider what I had been doing to be wrong. That changed roughly 15 seconds later when a guy came up to me and told me I might want to leave because someone just called the police. Damn you Maryland and your silly silly do-gooders.